mimimamemo

heihoo everyone :)

i don't know what to do now, and don't know what to write either. hahhahaha

anyway one of my friend told me that my blog has got a "gado2" language and had too many english for an indonesian blog. so that, i decided to remake my blog as english blog. although my english literature is very very very dumb, but i hope you can enjoy my blog as usual :)

by the way, i just arrived from bandung. it was very fun, because i went there just with my friends. no parents, no sisters, no relation. just me with my schoolmate and my old friend. we goof around a lot. photos will post ASAP. hehehehe

Ps: i still improved my english very hard, so i need your critics to helped :)

is a pleasure having bestfriend like you guys!

heii-hoo folks! 

actually i tried not to online for a while to concentrate for my itb and umb. but sadly i can't make it ;p maybe after i post this. i'll be really offline for a while this time.ahahhahahha

well, last saturday and sunday night i hung up with my best pals. we talked a lot of things and of course took loads of picture too :) here's some off silly picture that i took with my friends

sebenarnya there's loaaads of picture that i took with them. tapi berhubung blog cmn bisa nampilin yg se iprit gini yaa apa boleh buat deh yaaaaaaaaa . . .

once more, i really want to say HUGE thanks to all my best best girls for support me and makes me to ngebolang until i forget my problemo. hahhahahah thank youuu <3>

Move on

this is the best answer whose always people said to me. and this is the most hardest step to take. but i really have to get out of my lebay. because :

• i'm tired to chased you all the time
• tired crying because of you
• tired to stay connected-as close as i could- with you
• tired with this jealous feeling, when you menggatal with another girl
• tired thinking, why you dumped me like this
• you don't like me anymore
• masih banyak ikan di lautan 

I'm out. and i wish you have a good time with your "little sister", your close friends, your blablabla apapun itu embel-embelnya.

i deshi ty, por unë nuk kam si ju më. 

Sayonara, Mogot Haholongan Devroij

My birthday bash

Here Comes an upload for my 18th birthday surprise. thanks to you guys i LOVE IT :))

Dhika, me, Cyo, and the jilbabers LOL

HUGE Thanks

Dhika, Nia, Me, Tities, Cyo, Tacil, Ubay

Having new one is to forget the pass. but, is that ok?

Well, i've got insomnia. I woke up at 2.30 in the morning and stay awake till now. so because of boredom. i just fesbukan and voilaaa! my friends told me that my ex boyfie will get a new cute girlfriend soon! zzzzzz

I shocked for a while. it was hurt (because we just broke up for 2 weeks- but my tears couldn't fall down for some reason. maybe i gave him up and let him go. or maybe i just tired being cried, cried, and cried because of him. but this is one of the consequences if you're still love your ex right?

Honestly, i'm not a girl whose always talk about boys or love stuff. i always ngecakin my friends if they cried because of their boyfriend. sounds cruel right? maybe because of that cruel, i've got karma. yes i thought my last relationship was a karma. but it was a sweet karma. the pain, jealousess, the passion. it's all mixed up. along that relationship, my thoughts always think about him. sounds gombal, but yeah that's true. and the most important thing : i aint cheated with other guy during that time.

i'm a very moody person. my relationship is always less or just a few months. and during that relatioship, usually i cheated with other guys. i always more enjoyful being hts-an than pacaran. some friends warned me to get off from my bad habit. but sadly, i was totally stubborned to pay attentioned. i was thinking that my boyfriend would be okay. that my boyfriend maybe did the same like i am. i didn't know how to loved someone. i just know how to have fun with guys and make them mine. Untill i met him . . .

one of my friend told me, that i fall in love with a wrong person. some friend warned me at the beginning i opened relationship with him. but hey, i'm a stubborned and senseless person right? so i don't care what people say and going on my own. with all of our similarities, and all of our passions. i thought i found the right guy. i thought it wouldn't be like my relationship before. i thought this relationship would be different. but times flies really fast like a night turns out to a morning. after 2 weeks together, i felt that he kind of boring with me. but surprisingly i ain't feel the same! i still liked him like i was before. like our first day relationship. it lost my confidence a lot, and i tried not to like him as big as i was. so i was searching for some guys and when i got it . . 

WTF!! i still liked him so bad !! i still thinking of him even i hung out with other guy !! it was not like i always did. this began insane. i weaseled with my bestfriend and then she laughed a lot. she laughed like it was the most jokes she've ever heard. 

She said "ahahahhahah jie yg lagi jatoh cinte. gimana rasanya? enak? " then i said "gigi lo enak. makan ati iya deh gueeee." >,<>

jeeezz . . i really couldn't thinks right that time. what i think is about how to loose this feeling, how not to liked him soo bad. coz cheating wasn't manjur for me, so i decided not to called nor texted him. i purposed to make a distance as long as i could. i pretended angry to saw his reaction. but he didn't care, even he didn't realize what i angry for! i searched for some reason to be angry. then, i found it.  it was sunday, and it was her ex hts-an birthday. it would be our date. but i couldn't go out, so we cancel it. during that day i just goof around at home. i was waiting for his sms but he didn't texted me. he didnt texted or called me that day. even once ! okay, maybe i was childish and lebay that time. but, if youre on a jealousy you coldn't think youre right or not. isn't it? plus if youre jealous with someone whose have something that you haven't and with all the problems before, it was like triple jackpot for me. bad jackpot. i angry to the max, but hurt to the max too. i didn't know what this feeling is. but i know, i should end this up if i didn't want to hurt again.

Like i always said. we similar in maaaaaany waaaaays. our stubborned, our careless, even our tactless is same too. the guy i've been searching all this time is finally found. but maybe god's tell the truth. we end up because 

he's not right for me like i ain't right for him

So i'm thinking that i must going on my own life like he does. this pain will leaved a scar. but this scar will heal with a medicine. and for me the medicine is my best friend, my family, and maybe someday i really find the real right man :-)

searching for a pain killer

I try to speak, but my words never catch the air

Like you never knew I was there

Take me back to the days when you really cared

Can we make love re-appear?

I can't go on the roads too long

And now all is said and done

I can't go forward if my heart's still where i'm coming from

lemar-time to grow

i broke up and it's still hurt till now. our relationship was less than a month, but for me it's like a year  :'(  i cried a lot but it's okay now. i don't know how to say.maybe he kind of boring with me, or he didn't like me anymore. i just feelin that he was change since our 2 weeks relationship. i told you before, that is a lot of similarities between me and him and i guess because of that we better end up and started our new relationship as a friend :)

i learned a lot from him. and i hope he can learned from our relationship too. after triple times being relationship i guess this is the most painful. but i found it fun too :')  

for now, i tried so hard focused on studying and my last day being high school student. 

pray for me ya ;)

ps : Poy, if you read this i just want you to know that i still waiting for you for being opened with me like your promised. and i really wanted that day will come soon :)